girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
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