Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
