I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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