If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
