The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
