I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
