Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
