He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
