I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
