I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
