too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
