sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
