is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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