oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Boobs are out for the taking
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
