Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
