Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
