oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
