i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
