the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
