i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
