dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
