Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
