:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
