You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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