I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
