3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Randomize
