we have officially lost it.
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
