I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
