So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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