i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
