As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
