Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
