so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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