doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
