I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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