In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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