im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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