Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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