he thought i was a dude.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
