I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
