I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm passing your future prison.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
