I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
