i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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