gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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