my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
