I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
