I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
