btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
