Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
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