you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
