I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
