i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
