my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
