i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
