In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
