reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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