I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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