you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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