Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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