Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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