He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
