Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
