Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
