can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We are all done wearing pants today
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
