You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize