Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
