dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
